The Undead Update

The first (maybe) place to find not just your news but also some entertaining stories!

  • 🚨 Wormageddon! Zombie Surge, Choking Mermaids, and the 78-Hour-a-Week Digger Destroying the Planet 🚨

    LA

    By “LA” (Reporting Live from a Safe, Worm-Free Home)

    We are not facing an environmental crisis; we are facing an Addiction Crisis fueled by shovels. The latest, terrifying data from our resident ecological prophet, Jersey (Fish guy) aka “The Worm Man”, confirms that the widespread “Digging Epidemic” is leading to complete ecological collapse within the next 10 to 12 years, sparking a hilarious (if you’re a zombie) surge in undead activity. The message is clear: You are the problem. Statistically, 5 out of every 6 people in the Fracture are actively digging, turning our precious earth into toxic, ungrowable dust.

    The Stats That Will Make You Stop Digging (Maybe)

    Jersey’s research reveals that the high rate of digging is not only widespread but is tragically concentrated in the most vulnerable areas, compounding the damage and accelerating the crisis.

      The Great Famine: Land Collapse

      The digging is literally making our food supply vanish.

      • 20% of all arable land has been rendered “unuseable and ungrowable” due to the over-digging and nutrient drain. Prepare to trade your carrot patch for a dust heap.

      Air Quality Crisis: The Sandy Tavern Cough

      If the zombies don’t get you, the air will.

      • The most polluted area is the Sandy Tavern, where mass digging has destroyed the vulnerable plant growth.
      • Air quality is now in the hazardous range, creating “extremely dusty terrian which can tear the lungs” from continued exposure. Digging for trinkets is now an occupational hazard.

      The Aquatic Tragedy: Choked Mermaids

      Our rivers are now toxic soup, leading to fantastical death.

      • Nutrient drains from unstable soil are flowing into rivers and ponds.
      • This causes explosive algae blooms that tragically “choke fish and mermaids the same,” by cutting off oxygen near river estuaries and the coast.

      The Worm Crisis: Why the Zombies are Winning

      Worms are the unsung heroes of our ecosystem. They are the biodegraders who traditionally digest dead organic matter before it can rise with murderous intent. We are failing them spectacularly:

      ZOMBIE SURGE: With the defense broken, we are seeing a “sharp increase in zombie attacks.” Every shovel-full is a casting call for the undead.

      Worm Population Crash: We’ve seen a 23% drop in the worm population and a massive 56% drop in microbial diversity, severely weakening the zombie defense force.

      The 99% Rule: Ethical Negligence

      The most shocking data point highlights the sheer, systemic disregard for life.

      While 95% of worms are ‘Returned,’ only a negligible 1% are ‘Returned’ (Ethically). This means 99% of diggers are effectively dumping their worms into destroyed, non-viable habitats, contributing directly to the 50% drop in Macrofauna Biomass and the complete collapse of forest floor ecology (40-90% biomass taken out).

      The Face of Obsession: The 78-Hour-a-Week Digger

      The digging is not confined to casual weekend warriors. Jersey’s investigation into the problem areas (heavily trafficked spots and the Sandy Tavern) found that the damage is driven by obsessives.

      • Peak Digger Alert: Out of the high-frequency diggers (those over 45 hours a week), one individual was recorded digging for an average of 78 hours a week—that’s 11 hours a day! This anonymous person, reportedly “busy digging worms,” is single-handedly personifying the systemic destruction.

      This staggering level of obsession is why the ecological damage is so widespread and severe.

      A New Hope: The Beaked Mega-Worm

      In a desperate act of evolution, some worms are choosing to abandon this surface-level madness entirely. A new species is emerging, double the size, with a harder outer skin and a small beak like mouth, adapting to a “more subterranial” life of consuming deep decomposition.

      If you find one of these magnificent, beaked specimens, STOP! Do not add it to the 99% casualty list! Bring them immediately to Jersey (Fish guy) for urgent research. They are our only hope for a self-repairing ecosystem.

      ACTION REQUIRED

      The continuous rate of soil destruction means we cannot wait for change. The surefire most non destructive digging one can do is along the beach and in the quarry. If you must dig, for the love of the worms, the lungs, and the mermaids, take your shovel to the sand and the stone.

    1. Emergence of the Insurgents

      Amanda

      The last two weeks have been full of whispers. Some calling them patrols, others calling them purges. Locals just call them “Hunters.” Rumors make it seem like there are tanks rolling down backstreets. Murderous artillery glints in the smog. One figure appears more often than any other. The fearful and the gullible have begun to call it “The Big One.” He is said to walk through the smoke like a ghost. His white hair is pulled back under the cowl of a gas mask. He wears a black trench coat, with the bottom hem brushing the sidewalk. Big boots complete his outfit. The chilly glint of a shotgun is propped across his shoulders. His voice carries the same sober gravity as a funeral bell. It is whisper-English, if the stories are to be believed.


      The Rallying Cry

      On October 7th, a message was put up on Batty:

      “The Insurgents are back (Hunters) with heavy weaponry, armored cars etc. Alone we can not defeat them, but together we stand a chance!”

      The above was followed by a second appeal two days later:

      “We are the many, they are the few! Take up the fight against the insurgents, do not hide in the shadows. They may have the weapons but we are the weapons. Know your worth!”

      The post concluded with a call to action to mobilize. Some answered.

      The Tequila-la Incident

      A surprise attack by one of the Hunters on Tequila-la was made early in the morning of 18th October. Eyewitnesses spoke of spells crackling under bullets, humans in between, and the walls shaking at something louder than bullets. A few attempted to hold the line most were cut down or sent fleeing. The Hunter defied both magical and mortal force, walking through the opposition as if made of myth. Raining his justice with a huge helicopter, a sniper, and a shotgun. Unstoppable even in the face of the wardens.

      Over the last seventy-two hours, three have been noted taken to the Hunter compound and fitted with suppression collars. The collars themselves degrade after twenty-four hours, as if the magic that sustains them cannot be contained within city limits.

      🜃 Field Notes for the Cursed and Careful 🜃

      Discovered in a sealed letter within an abandoned house near Grapeseed.
      No sig, just light scent of lavender and rain.


      Shadows require less blood than light.
      The more radiant the glow, the faster the drop.

      Feed not under open eyes.
      The stars gossip, and their children use cameras.

      Keep a heartbeat handy.
      It distracts the hounds and purchases the fuel.

      Clean your face where it clings.
      Glowing ones like to save the dead.

      Never perform the craft before witnesses.
      Their glass eyes remember.

      Let the living speak for you.
      A borrowed voice is safer than yours.

      Go where metal falls signal.
      The pulse of the earth will hide you more than faith.

      A song alone dies in the forest.
      Harmonize, or shut up.

      Guide them to smoke, not fire.
      Better-fed rumor survives longer than truth.

      Smile and let your teeth be concealed.
      They fear courtesy more than blood.

      Names are promises. Leave yours unspoken.

      Send flowers to your enemies.
      Lavender lingers longer than bullets.

      Leave a bit of hair where you never rested.
      Disorientation creates the best scent trail.

      Have an eye behind glass in the dark.
      The shadows won’t know you.

      Fear is becoming. Wear those when necessary.

      Create a stage for phantoms.
      Let them find the sets, never the player.

      A singing floor beneath you is a friend.
      Listen for the warning before the door creaks.

      When the sky weeps, run.
      Even the bloodhounds are confused in rain.

      Those who know, know. For the rest of us, keep your lights low and your doors open. The Insurgents stalk what they don’t know. And it’s everyone these days. Stay safe out there.


    2. Adventure With A Rabbit

      Amanda

      Today was a great day. I found the cutest rabbit in the hospital! They were named Nox and seemed keen on exploring. So we took the adorable girl out for an adventure. We stayed on the hospital’s little island for a short time. Walking around as it hopped alongside us. Tackling us, the hare even stealing my shoes. She was having fun with us as we were with her. After a little while, we finally decided it was time to get out and about. Driving around the state to see the sights. Our first stop was the drift track where sadly, we did not stay long. Then to Benny’s where the rabbit somehow managed to get launched into the sky. Thankfully, the employees there were more than happy to aid in getting Nox the help they needed. The rabbit, after treatment opted to stay at Benny’s. Very tired of us blasting music and being disorganized to high hell. So off Nox went, back to their lovely owner. Hopefully….

    3. “Edgy” Hunter’s Philosophical Posts Go Viral Before Being Interrupted By… Grass?

      LA

      A mysterious online personality, operating under the handle @hunting (on Batty), has captured the internet’s attention with a series of intensely melodramatic and cryptic posts, which read like they were torn from the diary of a perpetually brooding protagonist in a dark fantasy novel.

      The account, active on Batty, a now widely popular social media platform, has been dropping “wisdom” about slaying shadows, lifting weights from the world by striking down “inhuman beasts” and the ominous consequences of “squandering coin in painted gardens.” Users have responded with a mix of confusion, mockery, and outright hostility.

      A sample of the “Deep Thoughts”

      One post that set the tone stated: “Each inhuman beast struck down is a weight lifted from the world, for every shadow slain spares a thousand dawns.” This was promptly met with a user suggesting, “bro get a hobby or try knitting or something.” Another simply called the post “edgy.“

      The cryptic messages continued, with @hunting posting on September 10th: “Feathered names won’t grant you flight the snare waits for the black bird that walks as a man.” This left users perplexed, with one saying “what is bro yapping about?” and another inquiring, “Who’s this bird you are talking about?“

      The account’s latest activity has, however, brought the theatrical performance to a jarring, anti-climactic halt. Just two hours ago, @hunting posted a photo with no caption, save for a small knife emoji. The image itself is an extremely zoomed-in, blurry shot of what appears to be tall, dry, brown grass, obscuring a dark shape that may or may not be a person or piece of equipment.

      The image—which looks less like a triumphant hunter’s photo and more like a camera dropped during a clumsy attempt at camouflage—sparked an immediate and unromantic reaction. User Finn O’Faolain (@irishfinn) replied sarcastically, “Oh look mum another want-to-be hunter who will end up in autopsy smh.”

      (The Great Grass Photo, @hunting on Batty)


      The online community is now debating whether the photo signifies a deep, symbolic moment of becoming one with nature, a failed ambush attempt, or just a really bad selfie taken by someone hiding in their backyard. The popular consensus seems to be that after all the dramatic pronouncements, @hunting was ultimately ambushed by a particularly dense patch of high-definition foliage.

      We’ll be sure to update you if @hunting manages to post again, assuming they can find their way out of the suspiciously thick-looking shrubbery.

    4. Breaking Report: Ongoing Abductions

      Amanda

      This just in: according to an anonymous source, a woman has been spotted kidnapping citizens for strange experiments. Many believe she isn’t working alone. Witnesses claim she has hired others to help with the abductions. They are targeting people across the city and bringing them to her makeshift lab somewhere outside the Paleto area.

      The woman is reportedly seen wearing all pink, often with a cowboy hat and blue-tinted hair. In several incidents, she has also appeared in a black “Purge”-style mask glowing with neon pink stitches and X-shaped eyes.

      Victims describe a bizarre encounter. Once taken, their palms are cut open, and the woman simply observes their reaction before releasing them. No other physical harm reported. Her motives remain unclear, but the randomness of her victims suggests she’s targeting those who seem easy to snatch or simply testing something.

      At this time, it appears anyone could be a target. Citizens are advised to remain vigilant and keep a close watch on their surroundings, especially in isolated areas around Paleto.

      This has been Amanda with The Undead Update. Reminding you to stay alert, stay strange, and above all, stay safe.

    5. City Wide Makeover!

      Amanda

      Various spots in the realm have undergone a makeover for the Halloween season! Being littered with new decorations. Both terrifying, and mundane.

      The first is Legion Square. There are spooky trees, graves, red “water”, hay bales and more! The area was actually somewhere I had gone almost right away upon my Fracture a few weeks ago! Legion is not only a great place to take pictures but, to hang out in with your friends.

      The mage’s college has recently undergone some changes as well. There are pumpkins and hay bales that now litter the grounds. It is a popular spot for people to take pictures. This change only adds to the amazing atmosphere of the area. I would have provided photos but, well…. I think we all know why. If you happen to know where the college is, it is well worth the trip to see! Don’t forget to treat the people there well. You don’t want to end up on their bad side and YOU are a guest there.

      If you have noticed any other changes, feel free to let us know!